I’m glad the portrait of Ben Franklin stayed the same on the new $100 bill. There’s something about his slight, tight frown, the paternal hint of disappointment in his eyes and those pursed, sealed lips that seem to say, “I don’t approve of what you’re doing, but I can’t stop you from rolling this banknote into a straw and ripping a fat rail of white lightning in the Buffalo Wild Wings handicapped bathroom stall, you goddamn beautiful disaster.”
Closing my eyes doesn’t help. Fire burns brighter in the darkness.
Hello? Yeah I’m coming to get him in— I’m sorry, did you say he escaped?
ha im a piece of trash
As someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up.
Is seven okay?
you smooth fucker
please watch this vine
why is that loaf of bread barking?